day 28
in the morning i was considering getting the heck outta montreal, but it was raining and just far too easy for me to stay for another day.
in the common area i meet a couple of really nice girls - nadia & beatrice. beatrice is spanish and works at a travelcuts store in toronto. nadia is carribean and works at a research lab studying cancer. after talking to them, i was quickly finding myself attracted to nadia. she's cool, cute, and just like this good, happy person. and if you've ever heard me describe the type of girl i'm looking for, i pretty much use the exact same words. i admit that i'm like a total sucker for girls with these purely positive happy vibes. damn! even as i write this it just really bothers me that my heart is so quick to jump to conclusions. i can tell it just wants to love but simply lacks a target. snarl...
ok, so me and these two girls hung out all day. we talked, ate food, went for drinks, talked some more. it was sweet. there's nothing like just talking to people you totally get along with...
as the day breezed by, i eventually found out that nadia has a boyfriend. i can remember when beatrice told me - it totally derailed my train of thought. [you know how when you're in a movie theatre and something really sad happens? for guys a lot of us will immediately begin trying to actively suppress thoughts of crying. same type of thing with suppressing pride in oneself before it turns to bragging or laughing at someone before it becomes hurtful. well, right at that moment, my inability to suppress my disappointment/sadness/shock made me cough. in my conversation with beatrice, i couldn't even remember what it was i was talking about] hmmm... and yet even armed with the knowledge that i could never be with this girl, it certainly had no bearing on the fact that i was totally taken by her. i'd constantly catch myself staring at her neck or her smile with thoughts i really shouldn't get into.